Turf Deli Racing News

Things To Do : Cox Plate Day

If there is one day during the Spring Carnival that we find a little uninspiring it would have to be Cox Plate Day.

Maybe it is because it is a silver plate and not some sort of flashy gold cup, and we are all about as much bling as possible - as you can tell from our flashy blue newsletter.

Do you have any idea how damn difficult it is to drink champagne off a plate ?

It tends to end up all over your good shoes and the sound of squelchy, champagne filled socks really isn't that appealing. Hence, we have never been that interested in winning a Cox Plate.

Or maybe the lack of interest in the Cox Plate is because we are a south of the Yarra snob, shop exclusively on Chapel St and only wear designer underwear.

But in reality it is just that Cox Plate Day always seems to be a day of small fields and short priced favourites (that usually win) and from a punting point of view it can be hard to get warm with so little value around.

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So here is our list of things you can do Cox Plate Day (instead of going to the races):

1. Sleep in
The Cox Plate is being moved back later and later in the day as the push towards a night time or twilight meeting grows in order to please the Asian gambling market. The added bonus of this is that the late start means that the pre-race National Anthem is now sung with an additional 2 hours worth of drunken gusto. The late start also means you can sleep in on a Saturday morning, watch the cartoons, do the dishes, wash the dog, the car, the boat, the jet ski , the wife, children, mother in law and even the good silver ware - and still not miss any racing. Actually you could probably miss most of the 1st half of the program and not really miss much in the way of racing.

2. Play the BLACK CAVIAR fantasy game
Pretend you are the owner of the best horse in the country and plan out an entire spring campaign which actually challenges her ability rather than hitting soft targets. Else pretend you are the owner of the best horse in the country and try to imagine the pride you feel when she beats a field of 4 out of form and has-been horses.

3. Dream of the glory days of Moonee Valley
The late 1970s. Saturday night. Channel 7. Quality hosts like Michael Williamson and Ernie Sigley. Musical numbers. Crowded around the TV for the Tattslotto draw. But most importantly - live coverage of the Moonee Valley trots. The pinnacle of free to air Saturday night television. The Moonee Valley Racing Club can try all they like to build night racing spectaculars, but even they have to admit they will never be able to again scale these dizzying heights. Unless maybe they deploy a snazzy dance troupe for a toe-tapping number before the main race?

4. Do the form for the Melton Saturday night trots
At least here you might have a chance of picking up a trifecta that pays more than $50.

5. Invest wisely
Get out your calculator and work out if it might be more value to invest your betting pool in the bank at 5% for one quarter of one day of one year rather than back a half dozen $1.50 favourites.

6. Cook up A Storm
Poor Kerrin McEvoy , the jockey on the favourite in the Cox Plate, HELMET, has been starving himself all week to get down to a stick thin 49.5 kgs. Help the poor starving boy out, he is seriously going to be in need of a good feed. Spend the day cooking,. Start off with a tray of lasagne, follow up with a quality roast with veges and nice lemon meringue for desert. Book a courier for 5:30pm and send it through to K.McEvoy, 49.5kgs, Moonee Valley jockey room.

7. Bonecrushing tedium
Start counting how many times during the day the BONECRUSHER - OUR WAVERLEY STAR Cox Plate of 1986 gets mentioned. Like BONECRUSHER who raced into equine immortality we are forever doomed to replay this finish, time after time, year after year, ad infinitum.

8. Count the internationals
Spend the day counting how many international runners the Moonee Valley Racing Club managed to attract in the Cox Plate field this year, even with offering them a guaranteed $100,000 just for turning up. No - it is not a trick question. The answer is still a big zero.

9. Be a total sook
Spend the day writing a sooky blog piece about how ordinary a day's racing Cox Plate Day is, in a blatant and childish rebuttal to the Moonee Valley Racing Club, who for some reason this year, without explanation withdrew the Turf Deli media accreditation