The Offical Punting Dictionary 30/09/2003 The hustle and bustle of Cup week is upon us and everyone is suddenly a serious punter. To help those along who are just casual punters, we will be explaining various racing terms and lingo over the week to build up your racing knowledge. These will form the basis of new Punting Dictionary on the web site and your own contributions are welcome - send them to mail@turfdeli.com.au (With apologies to the Racing Victoria's Racing Terminology section ) BLINKERS - what any self respecting punter wears once spring carnival arrivals. Especially designed so that you can fixate on the form guide and the tote displays and totally ignore anyone who has just come along on a social basis who dares to try and have a conversation and break your concentration. Very close to the medical definition of catatonic. LIGHT WEIGHT CHANCE - named that cause your wallet is going to be a lot lighter when it does not win. EMU - A bedraggled creature who roams the race course picking up losing tickets and checking them for late scratchings or missed dividends. Probably quite profitable too for those who don't mind the public humiliation. Now banned from racecourses, but Tim Webster is still welcomed with open arms. Go figure… BLEEDER - a horse that bleeds from its nostrils during a race, but also describes the punter who has just watched the horse that did nothing when he backed it to the hilt last week come out this week and blouse him at long odds. MUD LARK - a horse that performs well on rain affected surfaces. JELLY LARK - a horse that performs well on gelatine based surfaces. ODDS ON - LOOK ON - refers to a horse being too short odds so it is not worth backing. Also refers to the incoherent person of the opposite sex who falls into your lap on the train on the way home from Oaks Day. OFF THE BIT - a horse that is chasing hard. Also describes the punter desperately trying to get on the next race and dancing and diving from one queue to the next to try and get to the window in the shortest possible time. COME UP A TREAT - how a horse looks in the mounting yard after the strapper has applied the lippy and rouge. SWEATING UP - characterised by a beautiful foamy substance coagulating at the top of a horse's hind legs - unfortunately the strappers are usually too embarrassed to tell them of their personal hygiene problem. CELEBRITY TIPSTER - either (a) a footballer who confesses that has an "occasional flutter" but in reality has a $50k credit line with bookies, never fails to bet on every race in all four states, midweek and non-TAB provincial meetings .... or (b) a b-grade Neighbours starlet (but why is it never Harold?) MORNING MARKET - A pre race analysis of potential odds for the days meetings - always especially designed to be as far as possible from the true starting odds (we once decided not to back a roughie as it was only showing $7.00 in the morning market - it paid $64 the win come race time). More commonly known by its other initials - MM - or Mickey Mouse market. APPRENTICE - a jockey who is just starting out and learning the trade. You can spot the good apprentices - they will be the ones driving the BMW with P plates next to you in the traffic on the way home from the races. OVER THE ODDS - term used by radio and TV to signify that a horse is currently showing better odds on the tote than with the bookmakers. Contrary to popular belief, this actually means that it will start at WORSE value on the tote as thousands of punters around Australia change their bets to back this one. BETTING PLUNGE - is a term the correspondent in the betting ring just loves to use to add drama to the pre race report. Often they will report several 'betting plunges' in a race. Of course, those who actually watch the bookies prices know that nearly all horses drift out to longer odds and at best only one will shorten in a race (if any). Also refers to a punter who trips over and falls face first when running to get best odds. RIDDEN UPSIDE DOWN - how the OS jockeys think we run our races in Australia. TOO CLOSE TO CALL - your pick is just about to get bobbed out in a photo finish LATE MAIL - the Christmas card you hurriedly send to the person you have dropped off your list but who sent you one anyway. SCRATCHING - the horse you knew was going to win LATE SCRATCHING - when Paul McCartney decides not to tour because of poor ticket sales. MAIDEN - a rarity amongst the Bl(Oaks) Days Crowd. ENTIRE - any punter who leaves the course with his wallet still intact. PROTEST - the voice in your head that tells you should not try to get out in the last cause you need to pay the phone bill this week. EACH WAY - means that if your horse does not do well the first time around he gets to have another go later in the day going in the other direction JOCKEY IS INDISPOSED - someone has found out that if you do not eat for 3 days and then exert yourself you are likely to feel a little ill afterwards. WISH I HAD ONE IN THE BACKYARD LIKE HIM - the grass needs mowing. SENIOR JOCKEY - an apprentice jockey whose voice has broken. REAL CHARACTER - has attention deficit disorder REAL LARRAKIN STREAK - is an alcoholic with a gambling problem TRUE GENTLEMAN OF THE SPORT - born again Christian BEEN THROUGH SHARE OF UPS AND DOWNS - has been warned off every the race course in the country Dividend Purgatory - as described in John Harm's book - "Memoirs of a Mug Punter", dividend purgatory is the eons that pass between knowing that you have potentially got a good trifecta dividend, and the results coming up on the screen. Holy ATM Temple of Future Redemptions - EFTPOS machine