Turf Deli Racing News

Tom Who ?

Spring Racing has again been struck down by a virulent contagion.

Not since the outbreak of Equine Influenza in 2007 has a virus had such an impact on the Spring Racing Carnival.

The latest virus has been identified as a extremely potent strain of marketing, and goes by the Latin name of Tommus Waterhouse Irritatus.

But most people refer to it more commonly as "Bloody Hell There He is Again".

Those afflicted often report continuously seeing stylized images of Tom Waterhouse wherever they look. On TV, in the newspaper, on the internet, on the train, in cloud formations in the sky and on the inside of their eyelids.

The effects can be quite debilitating and can range from mild nausea, to headaches, to sudden involuntary urges to swear and throw things at the television.

Pop on the TV in the morning, there is Tom. Switch over to the news in the evening - there is Tom.

Turn on Play School for the kiddies and there is Big Tom and Little Tom.

Snuggle in for some ABC period drama and there is Tom in waistcoat and top hat offering penny back specials on the 1892 Melbourne Cup.

Open up your breakfast cereal in the morning and there is Tom, cause he doesn't know how they make it go Snap, Crackle and Pop, but he does know what punters want.

So what do punters want? Their sanity back ! Please.

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