TURF DELI SPRING CAMPAIGN 2012
Spring Campaign 2012 has commenced.
Join the free mailing list for the weekly newsletter with tips, analysis, and the usual nonsense.
View the Spring Campaign 2012 details.
UNREAL 150 YEARS OF THE MELBOURNE CUP
Turf Deli is proud to be associated with 150 years of losing Caulfield Cup - Melbourne Cup doubles.
UNREAL 150 YEAR HISTORY OF MELBOURNE CUP
#1 1930 - PHARLAP
PHARLAP wins the Melbourne Cup and becomes a national icon.
Unfortunately this was one of the last times that his hide, skeleton and heart were all in the one location, which dramatically cut short his racing career
GOLD GOLD GOLD
Forget that artificial orange spray tan this spring, look like a million dollars with the all over,
head to toe, gold spray tan.
The ultimate in spring bling accessories.
Totally weather proof - protects against sun, rain, tomato sauce and swooping magpies.
Also available in copper and bronze.
DON'T BE A LITTER BUG THIS SPRING
MAKYBE DIVA - Three times Melbourne Cup winner, two times Australian Horse of the Year and Australia Racing Hall of Fame inductee says :
Please dispose of your rubbish thoughtfully.
TURF DELI ON FACEBOOK
We will also post the weekly newsletter which is emailed out on Facebook every week.
Feel free to add your own comments, reviews, tips, photos, insults, glowing tributes and anonymous death threats.
Flag what race meetings you are attending and see what other Turf Deli subscribers are hanging about to borrow $5 off to get home.
ADOPT A JOCKEY
Come Spring time these cute little cuddly fellas are always so popular.
Everyone wants one or wants to look like one at the fancy dress Melbourne Cup BBQ.
Remember a jockey is not just for Spring Carnival.
At the end of every Cup Week unloved jockeys are often just left abandoned on the steps of the local TAB.
So think about adopting a jockey. They are available in a wide range of silks / colour schemes so they can make a great garden feature.
TURF DELI FAT FINGER BET OF THE WEEK
We hear of Fat Finger errors in the stock market world, like when someone's typo makes a number a billion instead of a million.
In the weekly newsletter we place an imaginary exorbitant amount of money on a sure fire good thing. Cause why should stock traders have all the mis-keying Fat Finger Fun ?.
Current profit : +$116 million
(it's under the mattress)
WORSE LOGO EVER
From the archives an old logo that was locked away, never to be seen as it was so very, very wrong.
Upon review, it is so very, very wrong that it is actually extremely funny.
Turf Deli is a serious form service.
We do not, repeat DO NOT, do children's parties.
(unless there are chocolate crackles)
SPRING CARNIVAL SNAPSHOT
#1 - CAULFIELD : THE TVN BUNKER
TVN do a great job covering racing for serious punters.
After years of shivering out in the open during winter they now have their
very own bunker adjacent to the Mounting Yard at Caulfield.
Which means if there is ever a nuclear armageddon we will still be able to hear
them bleating on, non stop about the bloody Jockey Challenge.
LIMBO TRIPLE PLAY
#1 2010 - Hung Parliament
#2 2010 - Drawn AFL Grand Final
#3 2010 - ???
Be prepared for a Triple Dead Heat in this year's Melbourne Cup as Australia proudly celebrates the International Year of Limbo.
SPRING CARNIVAL DISASTER BETTING MARKET
$1.25 Insect Plague
$3.50 Train Break Down
$4.75 Freak Ice Storm
$10 Dodgy Hot Dog
$25 Wardrobe Malfunction
$50 Misplacing winning quaddie ticket
$100 "Jetlagged" international celebrity
SPRING CARNIVAL DISASTER BETTING MARKET
Our resident expert on natural disasters, Kevin the Locust, says there has been strong money for Plague this week and word around the track is the winter preparation has been solid and Plague is in for a big spring.
Turf Deli is offering a scrumptious pest proof hamper prize pack to the first person to turn up on course on Melbourne Cup Day - dressed as a giant locust. Hamper consists of a dozen cans of tinned hamburgers cause seriously not even locusts would eat that stuff.